Deng those Elocution lessons!

I was sent to learn Elocution at a young age, and progressed through the levels of the Trinity College, and reached the one last student level. The nun offered to let me skip, that level and advance to the first Elocution Teachers’ level. I chose not to as it would have been extra to trying to study for the School Certificate examination.

but I still have the skills (though I am lazy about ‘received pronunciation’) and can ‘hear’ a person’s accent or dialect clearly.

Now in NZ we have a chain of home decor stores –Briscoes. Their NZ famed spokeswoman has a pleasant voice, charming selling manner… but I think I must be the only person who can pick that she mispronounces the short ‘a’  sounds in every word that needs one.

I know why – she’s been told to stay smiling throughout the script. But a smile holds the lower jaw higher than is needed for the short ‘a’ sound. The higher jaw works for the short ‘e’ sound.

So there she is on screen, extolling the virtues of nepkins in the menchester department, hendy gedgets in the kitchenware department, fentestic bargains, eccessories and messive savings …


Well, I thought I was learning to hendle it without wanting to screg her eyes out. But tonight…

Cabot’s have a deck staining product they’re currently promoting. And, S.O.Dear the male spokesperson fronting the campaign – he has a whole worse problem. He pronounces short ‘e’s as short ‘i’s. And in an advert for deck stains, you’d be amazed at how many time the word deck gets said.

“Before summer really hits your dick, make sure your dick is will protected. Cabot’s dick stain flows on easily, gives easy complete coverage, and leaves your dick looking Frisch all season long.”

4 thoughts on “Deng those Elocution lessons!

  1. This post really made me laugh out loud several times, and I really rarely laugh, it takes something really funny to make me laugh…I really like the sense of humor that seems to run through all your posts.

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